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male
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*oodboy
writes: I went to search for job - I have work before for 1 year then contract ended for two year I can't get a job. Now I have fear that went I am attending for my job interview I get scared then I walk off. One day before the interview the fear get worst. I don't know what to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angeliclight2222  +, writes (7 March 2007):
dont be afraid going to a job interview just be ur self and think possitive think of it as a every day thing as if ur going to work never show fear i know it is nerv wracking but just be ur self and be conferdant and the more confidant u r the better the job interview will be relax as u go to the interview and picturre ur self as u r in a job as a conservitive are even ur own boss good luck i hope i have helped you with ur quiestion and im only so glad i could of been some help to you
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male
reader, Goodboy +, writes (15 August 2006):
Goodboy is verified as being by the original poster of the question I want to prepare face my fear before entering the job interview? I have no one to help me around. Some coach say use your mind, you can control it & you know how to do it. But my question is how?
You see like I am scared of height, went I am young time – but I don’t how I overcome that fear in few weeks time. But comes to job interview, facing people, getting around with people - this fear does go away. It stuck with me. People say if you're not making mistakes, you're not taking risks, & that means you're not going anywhere. I have taken all dam risk but still this stupid fear doesn’t go away from me. I know what I am scared of but I don’t know how to solve it. I have tried but it seems to be back to square one. What do I learned from my risk? How do I change it & so that next time I know what to do better?
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reader, Goodboy +, writes (15 August 2006):
Goodboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks midgetgem for the reply.
because you don't have that desperation factor. It's not my fault that I don't have desperation factor.
After a while interviews became much easier. I won't kid you that they were a sinch but I had so much more to draw on than before. My old work colleagues can't believe how well I'm doing now!!
Went I go for interviews - I have this fear. I prepare well but the fear came. I forget everything & fail the interviews.
Can you tell me how did you take the battle & move on?
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female
reader, midgetgem +, writes (15 August 2006):
 You sound so much like I was a few years ago! I used to panic so much in interviews I must have come acoss really badly and I didn't get the job. Obviously this led to a negtive spiral where I felt I wasn't good enough and the interviews got worse and so on.
I managed to get a really good job after 3 yrs of trying and here's how I did it.
I went to a local programme centre who offered jobsearch facilities, CV writing workshops and interview skills programmes. Having a good CV built my confidence and they also taught me how to write a good application form. I also booked a coupe of interviews for jobs I didn't want. Sounds stupid, but your perfrmance in those interviews is so much more relaxed because you don't have that desperation factor.
After a while interviews became much easier. I won't kid you that they were a sinch but I had so much more to draw on than before.
My old work colleagues can't believe how well I'm doing now!!
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male
reader, Goodboy +, writes (16 July 2006):
Goodboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your helpful answer.
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male
reader, Goodboy +, writes (13 July 2006):
Goodboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply
You know that this is a bigger problem of confidence, depression and chronic anxiety but the people are not. I also know that I have this problem. The counselor, the social worker & the priest change the story & say that it’s about the job interviews. Why they say like that because I have no money to pay the fees & I am in control by family. Their easy out in their solution they answer me in liars. This is what calls rich people - toxic people. You know how difficult to deal this people in my daily life. That why I came in my own solution – lies, cheat & steal. What can a poor guy like me to do to active in life - You tell me? Those years I sacrifice my time, my days to see those counselor, the social worker & the priest. They lie to me & never help me at all. I never give up – I went to almost 5 – 10 counselors, the social worker & the priest for help. It looks like no one wants to help me. I feel like something is wrong. I don’t know what went wrong. Everyone seems to hate me for no reason. At least people see me suffering – show me some help. Bloody hell no one seems to care to solve my problem. I keep claim all this years then year 2006 I lose my temper then I start to handle my problem in my hands – not to look for anyone helps only get advice from them & help myself out in my way. Now day’s people talk with fees. No one work by love, by the bloody people money talks. Action speaks louder then words. I don’t want to argue or fight. I go in peace. Since this year 2006 no one came & help me even I ask them also – no point.
I want to work out the fear out that all I want & get a job
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female
reader, DrPsych + ♥, writes (13 July 2006):
 This is not about job interviews - this is a bigger problem of confidence, depression and chronic anxiety. Your response to going into a job interview appears to be the same as your response to social interactions and other opportunities to improve your situation - you have put up that brick wall well before anything positive could develop from a situation. There is no easy way out of this but a starting point is to get counselling - not any old counselling but cognitive behavioural therapy which is effective at dealing with these sorts of problems. Once you start feeling better about yourself then you will develop self confidence and a resilience against other people who are nasty towards you.
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male
reader, Goodboy +, writes (11 July 2006):
Goodboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply. The answer didn't help me at all. I have no friends & gal friend since childhood, I have no job, I have many fears, no one likes me, everyone hates me, I am nothing in me. I can't get a gal friend or a friend or a job? How do I deal with fear facing people & learning the job? How do I get along with people? How do I take responsibility & face it in daily life & move on? I am suffocating in my daily life. I am looking for a way out. Everyday I am stuck with my family. I some time I have to tell lie or cheat my parent or my brother - then can use the computer. I have ask help - no one seem to believe me at all. All call me liar before I say a word. So now I am helping myself. Think about it. The problem in me is the fear will not let me understand the words. I get confuse & don't understand or remember. I don't know what to do or how to break free from the fear? I am sick & tired of it. There is one saying - YOU HAVE O BREAK THE MOULD NO MATTER WHO PUT YOU IN IT!! The question is How to break out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2006): Research, take notes, learn the notes! Or get some unpaid work experience and then you might get lucky and get a job through that or at least you will have confidence that you can do the job. Ask people for help, get them to ask you questions they might ask in an interview and practice. Practice English also, learn phrases that you would say in an interview.
It's easy to say. I am on the problem & I know the problem very well. I am dealing with toxic peoples. People expect me to be 100% perfect went they teach me. I must not do mistakes or errors or sins. If I do mistakes or errors or sins they will punish me & they will never be cool. Where got people give a chance to learn? Went I try to learnt my mistake the fear comes I forget everything. What to do? I never say that I never try. I did try - I went interview, the fear get worst. I have fear of my age that I am no more youth boy. Like my life is gone. I behave like a teenage boy. I am alone without friends or gal friend from childhood. My own family never like me. That is how I can't handle the problem. I can't able to do it alone. I am helpless. What shall I do to break this fear? I have see people begin flexible & know how to get along with the problem. I try - the fear came. I can't able to face it. I think they came from postive family. I came from negative family that why I am like that. Is there any way that I can come positive & flexible person by working by myself out? What is the best way to conquer a fear of failure and trying new things? What are tools to dismantle fear so that it has to flee?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2006): You have to face your fears. It's like jumping into cold water- do it! It gets easier and you learn how to do a good interview. You need to help yourself by learning as much about the job and the employer as you can. Research, take notes, learn the notes! Or get some unpaid work experience and then you might get lucky and get a job through that or at least you will have confidence that you can do the job. Ask people for help, get them to ask you questions they might ask in an interview and practice. Practice English also, learn phrases that you would say in an interview. Good luck!
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